Friday, December 29, 2006

Derek Wayne

SO, I was driving home from San Antonio at night. I was really allowing fear to grip. (When I had that terrible accident with Bella, it was just before Santa Ana). I prayed naturally, called Joel to ask him to "cover me"- he was at home- too sick to come to Xmas at my Mother's- me being the good wife- left him home. I really was thinking about him too much to enjoy my family. But anyway, I stopped in Santa Ana at the Dairy Queen- having gotten past the spooky part. Coming out of the bathroom this man walks up to me- not sure if he had one too many spiked egg nogs and said, " Mam, I like your hair." I said thanks. He proceeded to point to the truck out side of the DerekWayne ( Texan talk) and said, "see my wife out there in the truck, she's got hair just like yours and I just really like it." Hmm. Was God trying to tell me something here? Like see- even after your fearful episode I want you to know I notice the shiny black hairs on your head- even in DerekWayne. I called Joel and said, " Did you pray for that?" Guess you just had to be there.

Funny kid

So I was sitting with my husband trying to enjoy a movie-(The truth is he had never seen Nacho Libre, I was trying to educate him.) Nash kept climbing on me- he is seven and still loves to climb on me. I said Nash why do you love to sit on me so much. He said, " You are the refrigerator and I am the magnet." Is that a compliment? It was funny anyway.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Road Revelations

Driving in the dark. I began to feel like Jack Kerouac. I have often fancied myself one of those roaming writers from the50's, 60's or 70's. I have never been much of a Christmas person. I have always struggled with it- in my adult life. I did have that one awesome Xmas 1976 when Santa bought me that pink Huffy. Sweet. I heard the bells and everything. It was also the year I lost my two front teeth. But back to the road. Back to the stream of consciousness, flight of ideas that the road produces. It is a drug you know. It explains the gypsies, the Dead Heads, and nomads of any type or creed.
So, I have been organizing my thoughts, what direction to go with- the spiritual, the intellectual, the creative, the physical, the natural tendencies and the discipline challenged facets of me. I have been doing a mental house cleaning. I have not been the best housekeeper for several years. I have been actually pretty close to the worst. But I am good at it when I have to. WHen I clean, I have to move furniture. It sort of drives my husband crazy. SO I have to wait til he is not watching to do it. I have big plans for my house this year- so pray for lots of business for Tru Blu so that my house can get a new do.

I have been thinking about prayer- not in the folded hands at dinner sort of way- not at the shout at the devil with a mega phone sort of way either. Just very intentional. I have been praying about direction of involvements and obligations. I pray for several people. Some diligently than others. I want and need a strategy. I want and need a strategy. This could go on for hours.

Part of the reorganization involves my room. I need study space. I discovered that I did not get adequate study time while studying in the same room as my kids after school- hmm. You think it a no brainer. I have always studied with my kids. I actually have been blessed with the ability to do well with little effort- until this year. Then it got really, really , really hard. SO- I must rise to the challenge of organized life. God help us all.

I am going to become the health freak I have always imagined myself being in mid life- yes people I am there. No fancy red car. No plastic surgery (yet) but I am there. Plan for exercise- start with 10 minutes elliptical, 10 minutes bike, 10 minutes floor- 3 min armcurls, 3min lunges, 4 min crunches. Everyday. I will keep you posted. Hopefully in six weeks you can let me know if I need to step it up or start a health club. ( I still think Ginny Hawk should do an exercise show on CBN.)

Lastly, I sincerely want, desire to be a good mother and wife. I have never been a stay at home mom. I am actually intimidated by it. You have to be so creative to find the moral lesson in the simple things. You have to have this never ending patience. I like my personal time. I have to learn how to manage my time with kid time and Honey time. I bought several books about how to smarten my kids- encourage their intellect. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. I already hug and kiss alot.

I thought alot about covering tonight. I pictured my man- husband as a blanket over me. How he was responsible to make sure that even my toes were warm. From the outside in. He is responsible to know and love me. Does that make me equally responsible to love him from the inside out? Am I to make sure all of his exposed lining (he is still a blanket in my mind) is well cared for? Of course. So while I am underneath the covers I will be thinking about how I can keep him happy and warm and secure in our tent.

I might talk more about my holidays later- My favorite is Easter though- maybe then I can capture the moments.

Closing thoughts: Blogging is evolutionary, SuperVolcanoes are scary, Nieces and Nephews are wonderful. I am home.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


Erica and Trish's WOW table- I think our winter wonderland and christmas night scripure was sweet!

Pics from Joel's trip to Cambodia, then pics from Iron Kitchen to tease until the real ones arrive

There is a time....

Felt like a wild ride this last few days. Elated, dashed hopes, a little bit more hope, another possiblity, another way, miraculous possibility- which I completely believe in. Then the status quo- which is : no ticket, no plan, no trip to Thailand & Cambodia just yet. AM I disappointed? My life is good. I have a wonderful husband that was supportive of the desires of my heart, children that are healthy and beautiful- a little unruly at times, but nothing God, Joel and I cannot handle together. I have plans to prosper, a hope and a future. In my heart, I believe this absolutely, and it is well with my soul.

Now- I was a little quiter yesterday. I sort of needed to be. Here is the truth, Trish is a big chicken. Trish had major fears about flying that far for that long. Thoughts like, the selfish desire of my heart would lead to my death and abandonment of my children without a mother. Oddly enough as I came closer than I have ever been to a probable departure overseas. The fear I used to have was dissolved, replaced with anticipation about the cause of Christ and the goals to glorify God through the plans He laid before me. So, for what ever reason this did not work out this time. I felt truly as though I would be His vessel and it would be right. I trust my Lord. I have patience for whatever cause He orchestrates in my life. I am but an instrument. Though not musical, I am perfectly capable of being used for the application of His peace, healing, mercy, forgiveness, love, thoughtfulness, caring and discipline. (This is very much a confession of faith, in some areas). SO have a great day, I am going to clean and pray over my house today. Probably drink too much coffee, and I will exercise (another confession of faith). xoxox

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” MLKJr.

Saturday, December 16, 2006


Okay so last night I got the call. Do you want to go to BKK December 31 to help plan two mission trips children's ministry and medical. I am so excited I can hardly breathe. I want to go. It is the desire of my heart to go. But then there is money, right before Christmas. Where will it come from? I spoke to the husband as soon as he got home, he said I he would support it, but I would have to come up with the cash. I have not been working much because of school. I suppose I could learn to work more for a little while. That is not it. I feel like God will provide if He wants me to go. One of the reasons I know that God has allowed me to get my education is to serve HIS children with it. I don't have $1350 to go on the trip. I need to give an answer today. Lord I pray that your will be done. I am a daughter of The King of Kings. With your permission, I will be a companion on this journey.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

So much So little So much

Yes, yes yes finito, done, did it. I actually passed the semester- by the grace of God and the skin on my teeth. I cannot believe how hard this semseter has been for me. I had to pray and cry and beg God to help me. I had to visualize the tree being blown to the ground -just for me( a lesson from Spencer). See High in Demand link Anyway, Mia had a dream I passed, then I had a dream I passed the test but failed the semester. It was too much. Our business, our family, our mission trips, our commitments. I overextended. I was past the limit. I lost the strechability (See Starling's Law). Then one day God breathed renewal, life, hope and His purposes back into my heart. Just like taking my hand and saying, "you can do it precious." "I called you to rise. You are not dead, you are just sleeping. You are not burnt out, you are refined. You are my workmanship. My workmanship doesn't give up out of weariness." It was as though He placed me back into His quiver to be placed back in the bow for a direct hit this time. No more wavering, no more obstacles, no weapon formed against me to prosper. I Love GOD- He is the best. He is fantasteek( Nacho Libre fans chime in here). So I got into the car after class and bawled like a baby. I still did not know for sure, and I was tired. I met a buddy at Carino's and I got the call. My instructor , knowing how scared I was, called the house to assure me that I was still in."I will see you next semester. " My sweet husband called me to give me the good news. Whew! Tears of Joy!

Next- I have failed to put pictures of the event of the year for Tru Blu up- as soon as I get some photos from A Little Bling Bling maybe I can share with you. You have heard of Iron Chef- well in Abilene there is Iron Kitchen- a fundraiser from the United Way to benefit women and children of our community. It was a blast.

Hopefully, we can do a little with our Tapas for Thailand Fundraiser next fall. Most of you know we support missionaries Paul and Leah Cypert. More on that later, that is a whole blog series. For details visit their site link- and Leah's got a blog corner too. Now you can get to to her and love her like I do.

Blessings! Hey did I tell you I passed?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Deep to Deep

Deep calls to deep
On reservation land
Deep calls to deep
While I sleep in my bed
Mysteries revealed to a child so frail
While deep calls to deep doth my life unveil
Witness to sorrow and sickness and shame
Eyes that have known a life filled with pain
Deep calls to deep as my spirit is freed
Deep calls to deep
Hand extended in need
Deep calls to deep
When it is hard and alone
When we stand in our stance in our status quo homes
Deep is too deep if one measures with sticks
Deep is to deep
One soothing the soul
As Hope is to Life
That's consumed by the blow
Knowing the life of a truly good man
Deep is to deep
Indiginous circumstance
Deep is to Deep are you there?
Do you know?
Deep is to Deep
From the depths of my soul.

Patricia Munoz Trueblood

Thursday, December 07, 2006

A Confession

They say that admission is the first step to recovery. I have a hard time talking about it, but I think this is the right thing to do.
I am an addict. I can't wait for my next fix. My next time to experience the high of a Mountain.

Here goes..I have to, almost need to watch the Walton's as often as I can. I know what your thinking. How can you find the time to luxuriously long for the Blue Ridge of Virginia- for Walton's Mountain, for the seven red headed children? I love John Boy, he wants to be a writer you know. I love Olivia, she learned to drive just so she could paint, Even though Grandma thought it foolish for a woman to drive. I love the way her husband loves her, and the way Grandpa loves life and the way the whole family loves each other, even when they poke fun. I love how they quote scripture and I love they way they walk around without shoes on. It is just too much. I am halfway through season three. I think I should go ahead and order season four before I run out. See what I mean, I am addicted. Words of wisdom, anyone?


What is that- well it just so happens after this semester, I can almost tell you-it is the study of the patterns, causes, and control of disease in groups of people. It is sotra like CSI. We did our big presentation today- group project. Tuberculosis in Texas Correction Systems. It was great to be done. I think even in something as dry sounding as epidemiology. There is a beauty that is just dying to be recognized. Patterns-I have always been fascinated with patterns. Natural beauty in the earth, in flowers, in microbiology and landscape, disease as ugly as it can be also follows patterns. For the trained eye or one who appreciates patterns, information can be discovered than can and do save lives. TB is one scary dude. So many nations in the world are affected, including the United States. The big mean brother in the TB family is Drug Resistant. I learned so much being involved with this project from surveillance to strategy, from genotyping to geography. There is some great work being done out there. There is so much more to go. Please be informed. Be wary of coughers, especially persons not from the US. The prevalence of TB is so much higher in other countries. Go to the CDC website when you are curious. You will find everything you ever wanted to know about any disease, and probably some things you wish you did not know. We have to care. We have to be aware of ways that lives can be destroyed. Like they say- an ounce of prevention.....

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Yuk stuff Good stuff

Today, I felt human. Imperfect. Foot in the mouth. Missed the point, let some people down. (Felt every centimeter of the distance down.) I did on the up side make some really good tortillas. I make great tortillas. I may stink at relationships, but in tortilla land- I am the Man!

Sometimes, I think we look at ourselves with humility which is good, but then we get hung up on the magnifying mirror that somehow makes a tiny red bump look like GODZILLA on steroids. Why is that? Why can't I just say, I had not as good a day today as I will have tomorrow. I will feel good- I will not be sick, I will not be cursed. I will trust the Lord to allow His Holy Spirit to prompt me into action for whatever is required of me. I will be joyful. I will be grateful. I will be thankful. I will be loving. I will, I will, I will. Help me Lord to be all that you called me to be. Help me to not get so caught up in myself that I miss your point of being free. Empower me with your strength. Help me to walk in forgiveness as well as be forgiven. Grace, Mercy, all of you so that I might in turn be able to give it out what you give me and truly be the vessel, that instrument that transports peace, healing and wholeness.

I was reading the Bible and trying to figure out how faith in healing were so integrated. How often Jesus refererred to "your faith that made you well." Or something similar. In some versions the words are that you are made "whole". It dawned on me that until you are able to receive your healing. Until you are able to admit you are in need- there is a good chance you will walk around in parts. 8 tenths of a pizza pie- not a whole pizza pie. Until you have full faith in healing and being healed, you cannot see yourself "all the way". Father I want to see myself complete in your healing. I want more faith to FILL me completely so that I might understand all that I have missed in my life by not having enough faith. Please help me. I do believe.