Monday, November 26, 2007

I passed!

Thank you for your words of encouragement all. I was so happy on the way to take the test it was weird. On the first ten, I was sick, after that I got my stride and only had a few sinking moments. I looked and looked for the big YOU PASSED in blinking letters.( This means I can legally write presciptions and get reimbursed by insurance companies and medicare). In the middle of the screen, in the fine print was " It appears you have successfuly completed the certification exam for a family nurse practitioner......." I started shaking- wow. Whew. Couldn't even do the dance. My husband picked me up and took me to split a burger. It was a nice day. My kids were excited. Nash wanted to do the dance when I got home. I think for him, it meant I would never again have to say- I have to study, maybe later. FNP-C. hope it is worth it. It sure does hurt some days. Then when that skinny little 86 year old man and his wife look up at you and say, we have really grown to love you with tears in their eyes-it feels right. Somebody's got to do it.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Big Test

Okay major big test Monday at noon. If I fail I can't work in my current role until I pass. SO PLEASE PRAY around noon on Monday November 26th, If you ever even liked me just a little. I have been studying nonstop. SO this is my break. I will let you know Monday evening. Maybe Rachel will be in her own labor! You are excused from praying for me at that time if that happens, BTW. I am in San Antonio right now and Joel and the Kids are at the River walk looking at the lights. My favorite thing to do in San Antonio during any season. But it is okay cause I will pass my test, right?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thankful for....

Nash- my video games, candy, money, umm pizza, uhh Also for family, techno stuff. Junk food too.

Bella- I am thankful for my family, my friends, technology, my pets( still part of my family), my mommy and daddy because they let me keep my kitty. I am thankful for everything.

Mia/Rainflower- I am thankful for my family, my sun sisters, my lip gloss be poppin. Rain to dance in, Sunshine makes me smile. I love God. Road trips with Rainbow. Starberry jamfests with Jordan. Jewelry making and anything hippy with Strawberry FIelds. I am thankful I found my secret garden. Panda lets me dance in it whenever I want. I am a Senior Yay! Trips to be taken (More Europe) And chocolate.

Trish- I am grateful for love, health, kids that crack me up, a husband that sends me flowers and loves me in all my stuff, moments with people that transcend profession and role and grasp a spiritual connection. People that fight against darkness. Friends everywhere. My mattress topper. A Lover in Heaven and Savior on Earth. Travel travel travel-I love all things diverse and beautiful. Good coffee, great wine, dark beer, humor, music, stringed instruments in particular. A sense of completion. Dance.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

The Journey to being "real"

AS many of us try to discover the truth of what being in real relationship means, let us not forget the balance in words spoken in love and with harshness. Let us not forget that to let your guard down and reveal your thoughts and insecurities is not a license to criticize or invitation to point out fault. Sometimes as trust is established in relationship things are spoken in confidence of the context of relationship. Some words of bitterness, some words of love, some words of anger. The following is an excerpt that describes what many have been to afraid to acknowledge as they seek the truth for themsleves..............

Most of us arrive at a sense of self … only after a long journey through alien lands. But this journey bears no resemblance to the trouble-free “travel packages” sold by the tourism industry. It is more akin to the ancient tradition of pilgrimage--“a transformative journey to a scared center” full of hardship, darkness and peril.

In the tradition of pilgrimage, those hardships are seen not as accidental but as integral to the journey itself. Treacherous terrain, bad weather, taking a fall, getting lost --challenges of that sort, largely beyond our control, can strip the ego of the illusion that it is in charge and make space for the true self to emerge. If that happens, the pilgrim has a better chance to find the sacred center he or she seeks. Disabused of our illusions by much travel and travail, we awaken one day to find that the sacred center is here and now--in every moment of the journey, everywhere in the world around us, and deep in our hearts.

But before we come to that center, full of light, we must travel in the dark. Darkness is not the whole of the story-- every pilgrimage has passages of loveliness and joy--but it is the part of the story left untold. When we escape the darkness and stumble into light, it is tempting to tell others that our hope never flagged, to deny those long nights that we spent cowering in fear.

The experience of darkness has been essential to my coming into selfhood, and telling the truth about that fact helps me stay in the light. But I want to tell the truth as well: many young people today journey in the dark, as the young always have, and we elders do them a disservice when we withhold the shadowy parts of our lives. When I was young, there were few elders who were willing to talk about the darkness; most of them pretended that success was all that they had known. As the darkness began to descend on me in my early twenties, I thought that I had developed a unique and terminal case of failure. I did not realize that I had merely embarked on a journey toward joining the human race.
--Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak, (Somerset, NJ: Jossey-Bass, 1999) 17-19.