TangerineTInselbreeze

I really don't have time to blog, but I am doing it anyway. I am frustrated. I feel that my goal of getting my nurse practioner is "murderizing my mommyhood". And I have this sense of time slipping through my fingers. Yet at the same time, I have such an appreciation for education and treatment of those in need of healthcare that I can't stop. I know what my priorities should be. My immediate sphere of influence. However, I am two semesters shy of completion. This is such a painfully revealing time for me. I read about cultural nursing, where this PhD prepared woman observed the Peoples Republic of China and reported that they were so innately aware of taking care of themselves that speaking of preventative health maintenance was a mute point. There were no words to convey- health maintenance. They practiced Tai Chi and walked around barefoot and were at peace with their lives. It was poetic and beautiful" as though they were one with the earth." I often wonder if all of the strife I have toward wanting to get people healthy (as a nurse practioner) is a mute point if I am not balanced. I kept trying to convince myself that if I could just get done- finished. I can have that garden and read books and be involved with a community of believers.I could have a super clean house, help my husband with his, our business. I could do my part to serve God and love my family. Sounds like a pipe dream. lalalalala. I am doing all that stuff and then some. School is suffering. I think I might just be getting a little burnt. Pray for me. I know God opened these doors. I just want to know if my foot in the jam is holding that almost shut door open now or if HE really wants me to finish.