I think I can...

In reference to my painful educational process...

I have discovered that I was resolved to quitting. And it was okay with me. The weird part about it is that it was such a painful resolution that I was literally sick. Stressed and feeling pretty yuk.
Then one day, over the course of several flags in the form of people and prayers, my soul resonated with an answer to my question. DO I really need to finish? Someone that I am not very close to took the time to write me a personal and moving account of her angst in this course plan for our education. Apparently, she is in a similar situation. She is just more resolved to finishing than I was until last Sunday. It soooo made me cry. Not that it is so hard to make me cry- just that it was moving and I am girlie. I finally realized that I was a waffle. Flipping over whenever it got too hot on one side. I just made it a comfortable place to go to in my mind- quitting was like real life. Where completion was like death. Being seared to charred on one side and raw on the other. Truly, If I just remained steadfast and "Stood Firm" I would complete without being burned. I was an arrow with a crooked spine, my feathers were ruffled and I in no way could hit the target. Once I realized that GOD did not allow me this far to fail me & that it was I who failed Him by doubting the grace He has given me to serve Him in this capacity- Then I got my rooftop epiphany of "go for it!" Finish well, finish. He is faithful to see me to completion. My children will know that I love them- they are well cared for. There may be some minor sacrifices, but it will be okay. All is well with my soul. Thanks to My GOD, my family and a few fearless friendflags. Whew! Pray for success.